


Swear Jar

by Gang_Aft_Agley



Series: Tumblr Fics [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Found Family, Future Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Gen, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), M/M, Obi-Wan and Rex: the most married, Parent Trap AU, Past Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Seriously Luke's first word was "FUCK", hence the swear jar, so much swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gang_Aft_Agley/pseuds/Gang_Aft_Agley
Summary: Now that Anakin isfinallyin the loop, it's time for a family conference on what to do next.
Relationships: Leia Organa & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/CT-7567 | Rex
Series: Tumblr Fics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667320
Comments: 2
Kudos: 95





	Swear Jar

“So, just to sum up, am I really the absolute _last_ person in this family to know that my kids swapped places before they came home from camp?”  
  
Obi-Wan and Rex glanced at each other, shrugging in creepy near-unison. Cody didn’t even bother looking up from his phone. Luke - or rather, Leia, as it turned out - crossed her arms, and slumped down in her chair, kicking her legs back and forth. Boba grinned with feral delight, propping his chin in his hands to better savor the drama.  
  
Obviously, it was up to Ahsoka to be the only grown-up in the room.  
  
“Yep, pretty much. Sorry, Skyguy.” She patted him on the shoulder, and nudged his coffee mug a few inches closer across the breakfast table.  
  
Anakin pinched the bridge of his nose, and huffed. He loved this weird mish-mash family he’d found, he really did, but sometimes they were a bunch of complete and total _dicks_.  
  
“Great. Just great. Thanks so much for all of your help and support, guys, I really appreciate it.” He paused for a moment, considering the inevitable ramifications of his next words, and then said them anyway. " _Fuck_. _My. LIFE._ “  
  
” _Swear jar_ ,“ chorused everyone at the table, Leia a half-beat behind the others; Anakin rolled his eyes, and fished out his wallet to throw five dollars in Obi-Wan’s stupid smug face.  
  
"Bite me, Asshole McTraitorpants.” His former CO just smiled tolerantly, and Anakin decided, _in for a penny, in for a SHUT THE FUCK UP_ _DICKHEAD_. "You are such a complete and total _prick_. You’re enjoying my pain, fuckface, don’t even bother to deny it.“  
  
Obi-Wan raised one eyebrow and took a sip of tea as he delicately picked Lincoln’s face out of his breakfast.  
  
"I wasn’t planning on denying it, Anakin, I never have. Also, you have one more before you have to pay again, so choose it carefully.” He reached back to stuff the money in the gallon water jug that sat under the telephone hook. It was … _alarmingly_ full of cash.  
  
“I dunno, does ‘prick’ technically count?” Cody asked, standing to take his plate to the sink. "Not paying up, just asking for clarification.“  
  
"It’s genitalia, it totally counts,” Boba said. "Otherwise I’m owed a hefty refund.“ Rex whapped him upside the back of the head, and he ducked away, still grinning.  
  
"Really doesn’t matter,” Anakin mumbled, having shoved his plate aside to bury his face in his arms on the table. "Might as well stuff a hundred in there, 'cause now I have to call _my fucking ex-wife_ when she pretty much never wanted to speak to me ever again. I’m doomed.“  
  
Leia’s lower lip trembled.  
  
"I’m _sorry_ , Daddy, I just … Luke made it sound so _nice_ here, and I wanted to meet you, and everyone else, I didn’t _mean_ to cause trouble …” her voice trailed off, and Anakin picked his head up in horror to see that she was on the verge of tears, and everyone else at the table was giving him the stink-eye.  
  
“Oh, sweetie, _no,_ it’s not you. It was never _you_ Come here.” He sat up, pushed his chair back, and opened his arms. She skittered around the table and crashed into his lap, hiding her face in his chest as he held her tight and rocked her the way he had when she was a baby.  
  
He sighed, and tried to find the right words to explain.  
  
“It’s not that I didn’t want to meet you, or have you here. I’ve wanted you with me since the day you were born. It’s just…” He buried his nose in her hair for a moment, wondering how he could have missed it, because even using Luke’s shampoo she smelled nothing like her brother. "I hurt your mom really badly, there’s a good _reason_ we divorced, so she’s not going to be wild about me just showing up out of the blue. That’s the problem, not you. It’s all between me and her.“  
  
"But I’m the _reason_ for the problem,” she said in a somewhat muffled voice. "The whole swap thing was my idea, Luke just wanted to call you guys and scream and cry a lot.“ Yep, she was definitely his kid; her brother took more after Padme in temperament. Anakin hid a quick grin as he planted a kiss on top of Leia’s head.  
  
"Hey, hey, none of that, kid. NONE of that. I’d love to keep you here forever, but unfortunately, custody agreement says I gotta give you back. I just … ugh, I don’t have your mom’s contact information anymore, she doesn’t have mine, and I’m 99% sure just showing up at a Senator’s house or office will get me arrested or tossed out on my aaaa ….” He caught Rex’s smirk, mouth already open, and changed words at the last second. "…bottom.“  
  
Rex flashed him a thumbs-up, and mouthed, _nice save_. Anakin briefly considered flipping him off, but that still meant money in the jar, so instead he stuck out his tongue. Immature, sure, but cheaper than more grown-up gestures.  
  
Obi-Wan coughed discreetly.  
  
"I .. uh, well, I still have Sabe’s number. Just for kid emergencies, of course, but I could give her a call, if you want to relay the message that way.”  
  
“What counts as a kid emergency?” Rex asked, and his husband shrugged one shoulder.  
  
“Luke breaking his arm, Leia falling out of a tree, the twins getting chickenpox simultaneously and refusing to take any fluids at all, that sort of thing.”   
  
Anakin winced, because that had _not_ been a fun three weeks. At all. Luke had been _this close_ to being hospitalized for dehydration before his mom suggested the magic elixir of half-Gatorade, half-ginger ale, and from the way Leia was shuddering in his lap, she’d had a similar experience.  
  
“Obviously, I know Mom’s numbers,” she said, clearly wanting to change the subject. "If …if you wanted to call her.“  
  
"Yeah, but you and Luke swapped phones, right?” Ahsoka asked, taking a vicious bite of her bagel.  
  
Leia nodded.  
  
“So we don’t have a number to call her _from_ that she’ll recognize, and dollars to donuts she’s not going to pick up unless she already knows the number. Not with her job.”  
  
“And if we call her office, we’ll just get screened by her staff,” Rex broke in, “without explaining _why_ we’re calling, and she needs to hear the news first, not last.”  
  
“No,” Anakin said thoughtfully, adopting Obi-Wan’s usual chin-stroke (less impressive without a beard). "This … ugh, Plo is totally going to yell at me for this, but it feels like I should do this in person. I don’t want to totally freak her out, calling her out of the blue, and anyway, it’s not the kind of news you break over the phone, y'know?“  
  
"Okay, fair enough,” Rex conceded, drumming his fingers on the table. "And there’s also the argument that since the kids _know_ about each other, complete avoidance is no longer an option. You two need to at least be able to communicate somehow, even if it’s just through intermediaries.“  
  
"Daaaaaaad,” Leia drawled, and dammit, Anakin’s heart clenched at hearing her call him that. "If you want to actually _see_ Mom, you’re gonna have to set it up with Aunt Sabe.“   
  
Obi-Wan choked on his tea with laughter. Once he wiped up the mess, he reached across the table to offer Leia a high-five, and she slapped his palm gleefully.  
  
"Betrayed. I am betrayed on all sides, even by my own flesh and blood,” Anakin groaned, and Leia let out a somewhat watery giggle. "Your Aunt Sabe hates me, kid.“  
  
"She doesn’t _hate_ you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said primly. "She just …“ he waved a hand in the air, searching for the right phrasing.  
  
"You broke her best friend’s heart, so now you’re on her shitlist until the end of time,” Rex finished for his husband.  
  
“ _Swear jar!”_

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr 8/1/18


End file.
